The big breakfast buffet dilemma

I’m not a lawyer. I haven’t studied constitutional law. I’m fuzzy on the nuance of torts, contracts, and intellectual property. But I do know this: If something is described as “all-you-can-eat,” it literally means eat all that you can.

You didn’t pay for “a moderate amount you can eat” or “all you can politely nibble on” or “all you can eat without a tummy ache.” The beauty of the phrase lies in its simplicity and boundlessness. If you can physically eat it, you’re allowed to eat it.

Bonus? There’s historical precedent. Heartily enjoying a buffet is a nod to the lavish gatherings of the past, from Roman feasts to medieval banquets. Embrace this rare moment for channeling your inner Caesar. If that’s too indulgent, consider the sustainability angle: Any uneaten food will just get dumped in the trash. So you’re doing the planet a favor, one heaping plate at a time.

On a psychological level, the buffet is a safe place for culinary exploration. A lasagna slice with a side of sushi? Why not. Nachos and shrimp cocktail? You’re a pioneer. Or maybe there’s a dish you’ve always wanted to try—like steak tartare, sea urchin, or escargot—but were never quite willing to gamble your entire meal on. At the buffet, you can sample with zero consequence.

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There is, however, one unspoken caveat. The scope of “all you can eat” is “all you can eat right now,” not “all you can eat for the duration of your stay” or “all you can eat for the entire day.” An all-you-can-eat lunch should not bleed into dinner. Grabbing a banana for the road is fair game—those are there for a reason—but stuffing your pockets with yogurt, cookies or pastries violates the spirit of the bargain. Even Nero, after all, didn’t cram grapes into his toga for snacking at the Colosseum.

So, eat with gusto, eat with pride, and eat without inhibition.

Then leave.

(And don’t forget the Pepto.) 

Jeff Wilser

Writer

Jeff Wilser is the author of seven books, a frequent traveler (living in 24 countries in the three years to 2020), and a contributor to The New York Times, GQ, and Fast Company.